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Whisper

8/4/2014

2 Comments

 
Here's another excerpt from Whisper. I'm at 16,000 words and much to my surprise, it is still rolling smoothly. I'm over halfway to my target word count so I expect to have the rough draft finished shortly and then the revisions can begin...always my favorite part :(
Picture
    I leaned on the top board, watching as Bethany rode the filly in
all kinds of crazy circles. Star just lowered her head and did whatever Bethany asked, even if the message wasn't too clear. 
    As I was watching them, I had the spooky feeling I was being watched. I turned around, my heart pounding, thinking maybe Ralph had come back, but there was no fancy car in the driveway and no Ralph…just my mare. 
            She was watching me from her pen, ears pricked. Her face seemed softer and there was almost a wistful look to her. 
           I stepped away from the fence and began walking toward her slowly, eyes down and shoulders round. 
           She watched me curiously and somewhat fearfully, but held her ground. 
            As I drew nearer, I began talking in a soft, soothing voice. Her ears flickered, but still she stood. 
           She was only about ten feet from the fence and I was quickly closing the distance between us. 
           Up until now, she had never let me approach her. If I was sitting on the bucket, she would come to me, but I was surprised she was letting me come to her. 
           I was about fifteen feet away from the fence when she began showing some agitation. Her muscles tensed and the whites of her eyes began to show. I stopped and turned halfway around. 
          Gradually she relaxed and much as I wanted to try to get closer, I knew I had pushed her far enough so I walked away. 
          Halfway to the barn, I turned and looked back. She was looking at me with a puzzled expression. She wasn't used to someone walking away from her and she hadn't expected me to walk away. 
           I felt a sense of accomplishment as I walked back to the barn. She had let me approach her and I had given her something to think about when I walked away. I hoped she wouldn't be as leery the next time I tried. 
            Dad met me at the barn door with a grin on his face. "Good job, honey. You quit at just the right time."
           I smiled. "She's never let me walk up to her before."
          Dad started walking down to the paddock where Bethany was still riding Star and I followed. "That was good progress. You let her tell you when she's ready for you to walk up to her again."
2 Comments
Aunt Cathy Rayes
8/4/2014 02:13:57 pm

I'm into it! Keep them coming!
XOX
Aunt Cathy & Uncle Jim

Reply
Aunt Dona
8/5/2014 02:35:19 am

...the photo captures the emotion of all that is going on-- how you do that is quite powerful ...like Aunt Cathy says- keep it coming--I already love this story--- and the title xoxox

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